On December 23, Lee Jinglei (李靚蕾) issued another lengthy post hoping that her letter could finally end all the turmoil stemming from her divorce with Wang Leehom (王力宏) and allow everyone to return to their lives.
Why Go Public?
Lee Jinglei’s first point addressed netizens suspicions about, “why not resolve it in private? why must you be so cruel to the three children’s father?” She explained, “If there were other methods, no one would choose this method. Actually, if I didn’t have three children, in the face of these things that make you feel helpless and extreme sorrow, it’d be really hard to continue living to today.”
Lee Jinglei said up til this day, she still hasn’t received a sincere apology whether it’d be in private or public. On netizens questioning, “Is an apology really that important? Why allow the situation to evolve to where it is today all for an apology?” To this, Lee Jinglei explained, “Yes, an apology is very important because if a person has no way of admitting their mistakes and keeps blaming their own mistakes on others, they won’t be willing to repent and won’t be willing to change. I don’t have the slightest resentment towards him, only blessings. Everything I did is for our children to have a physically and mentally healthy father and a strong environment to grow up in. So, please don’t use the children to emotionally and morally blackmail me.”
Lee Jinglei then explains children don’t need perfect parents, “but rather parents who are honest and trustworthy and will be able to bravely face problems and correct them…If parents pretend to be perfect, children will also think their imperfections are flaws…I shouldn’t continue silently enduring him and his family and friends’ continuous bullying and slander just to shield him. As the children slowly grow up, they will hear and see that growing up in this type of family will only bring harm to them. If they grow up in this type of family, it will only bring about two results:
- Believe in family and friends’ slander and resent the mother
- Empathize with the mother who has endured everything because wanting to protect the mother and you go against the father and family and friends and even some children will end up being on the news because of this.
I wouldn’t be happy to see either result. I don’t wish for my weakness to let everything turn into the children replacing me to face or mask living in a ‘harmonious’ family, but it actually takes a long time to suffer or witness and experience a family relationship full of contradictions, bullying, and emotional abuse.”
Lee Jinglei continues saying she hopes to strive for a healthy family for her children. She doesn’t believe in enabling the children’s father to continue hurting himself, others, and depriving the opportunity for him to correct himself and become “reborn”, just to shield his mistakes from the children. “Compared to career and image, what’s even more important is his physical and mental health and the children being able to have a physically and mentally healthy father.” She also said she would provide support and assistance to Wang Leehom on his journey to rebirth and hopes that after he changes, people can continue supporting him.
“I hope our experience can be used as a reference for the children, allow the children to believe people will make mistakes. As long as you can bravely face your own mistakes, no matter what low point you encounter, you can be tenacious and through your self-effort, be reborn.”
Suing for Money?
Second point Lee Jinglei touches: “You’re saying all this, but in the end, you’re just after the money. So you got the house already, that’s why you’re not suing, right?” Lee Jinglei says she never wanted to sue from the beginning, especially towards her 80+ year old former father-in-law; she felt forced and helpless, which is why she mentioned it. The primary reason why she changed her mind about suing was because Wang Leehom was willing to apologize: “No matter what type of apology it was, it’s a good start to me. My goal has always been for me and my children and society to have a different future.”
“In regards to the house being ‘gifted’, I won’t be accepting it. So you guys no longer need to use this to distort my intentions. From beginning to end, it was not about wanting money nor about getting revenge. I believe in the judicial process so me and my children should legally have the reasonable distribution of assets. I believe there will be a fair result through the judicial system.”
Apologies to everyone
Lastly, Lee Jinglei apologizes. “Regarding innocent people being implicated into this, very sorry. No matter who it is, all have already paid a big price. Hope all of us can return to our peaceful lives starting today and we’ll all be well.” She also apologizes to the media and netizens for disturbing their lives and hopes this matter will come to an end.
Netizen Claiming to be Yumi’s Friend Comments
The netizen claiming to be Yumi’s friend, ‘007’, reposted Lee Jinglei’s post twice and said : “The matter will eventually pass, everything will eventually return to tranquility. However, the victim will live forever in the event.” Her second comment: “Want this to stop here, let everything stop at the most favorable place for you, nothing is that good.”
Everything else, fine I guess if she felt she didn’t have any other way but when she released private health information of the other party, that was crossing the line.
Honestly, she’s incredibly brave to speak up for herself and set an awesome example for her children.
My husband cheated on me 3 times (that I know of at least), twice while I was pregnant with my two kids and once while I was at home with a 1 year old and 4 month old baby while he traveled abroad. I am in my mid 30s, an accomplished individual who made over $300k usd a year before I gave up my career. I was extremely independent, well traveled, etc pretty much someone who you would never guess would allowed a cheating spouse in their life or is willing to suffer in silence– yet this is my reality. I never found the courage to tell anyone in our lives about his “sex addiction” or cheating because everyone, including my own family, thinks he’s such a perfect husband and father. Somehow his reputation has become my identity and so I can relate to why LJL didn’t speak up until the relationship is in disrepair. When everyone tells you how lucky you are to have such a perfect person, your worth gets tied to them so destroying them feels like you’re killing yourself.
I hope that people gives props to the victims who found the strength to speak up, but are also empathetic to those who decides to stay or remain silent. Please trust me when I say that we blame ourselves and our cowardice more that you can ever imagine.
Thanks for sharing Sad. Big Hugs for you and everyone out there who decide to come out or may be suffering silently. Pray for everyone’s health and happiness.
Thank you so much for sharing your story, your experience with us! We can all learn from it, and truly understand why someone like you and JLL – smart, independent, accomplished women would be caught in these situations and perhaps even stay in them when it doesn’t seem to make logical sense. Wish you all the best in your life and to have peace, joy and happiness!
She and the MIL were shouldering the blame. WLH was going to just let go on. She stood up for herself when nobody else would.
Above reply was for anonymous.
I still don’t understand why she went public though? Wouldn’t it make it worse for her kids later on and her self. I mean if this is how she wants to solve it then by all means go about it but it still leaves some questions which is why others were asking.
I think JLJ explained why she went public quite clearly in her post. She is ripping the band-aid off so Wang Leehom has a wake-up call and a chance to recognize his errors and start over (if he chooses to) – without everyone (wang leehom or any of the family or mistresses etc) needing to keep up the disguise of everything being fine as is. People say she was enabling, but then the second she stops enabling everyone calls her scheming. There is really no win-win situation. In any case, if there is still any misunderstanding, perhaps it is because ideas of what she should have done are too different, and no matter what she says it will still not make sense. So really no sense in explaining further or arguing. She did what she thought was best for her and her kids – and i am impressed with her courage and insight. Agree to disagree I guess.
Thank you I can understand it a bit more.
It’s her truth to tell and she can tell it as she pleases. Why should she keep up with “appearances” when her ex clearly does not care about her reputation or well being Seeing how he acts in public towards her gives us a good idea how he and his family treats her behind closed doors. Perhaps society can treat victims with more empathy instead of questioning their intentions.
Agreed! I’m perplexed that people criticize her for not “protecting the children” when it’s her ex husband’s behavior being so atrocious that would hurt their kids. Did he or his family consider the well-being of the kids??
Talk about victim-blaming BS.
I wasn’t victim blaming. I am on her side. I have just never seen something like this before that’s why I was a little confused. I am still very young so there is somethings I don’t understand about parent hood or being married. I understand the situation now after thinking about it a little. If I was in her position I would do the same thing.
Good for you young person to ask clarifying questions. It’s just harder for ppl to read tones on the internet and unfortunately victim blaming is the norm rather than the exception. I am glad that most comments that I’ve read seem to be on LJL side. Women no longer need to be silent, endure, nor fix the men in their lives.
I don’t really know what else can people explain to you when she did it very well. If you get bully, wouldn’t you want someone to hear your side of the story and not assume thing.
Not much people listen to me. I had a situation within my friendship group and then it got twisted and I was called the bully and no one listened to me. But I would do the same if I had a chance
Do what Lee jingle did.
Why are people asking why she went public instead of asking why he felt the need to call prostitutes or continue to cheat on his wife? If we’re thinking about the children, why didn’t the father think about how the chlidren would perceive his actions, first? if he did commit a wrong to begin with, there’s nothing to go public about. She obviously did it because she wasn’t getting the support and apology she wanted while she was trying to handle it privately. Just seeing the way they reacted and continued to try to smear her shows probably only a sliver of the attacks she was getting underneath it all.
Correction: If he didn’t commit a wrong to begin with, there’s nothing to go public about**
I am not saying she going public is wrong. I was just a little confused but someone explained it to me. Like I said I was worried about her and her kids. People can twist things around and I don’t won’t her to get affected by it.
If she didn’t make it Public she and her children especially her kids wouldn’t get what they deserve. Like I can’t imagine having a falling out with my partner and telling him I will only “loan” him and my children the house is a d*ick move also the fact that he has cheated on her repeatedly according to reports and is mentioned to be an absentee father how long do you think she can keep quiet. This is a wake up call for him. Imagine the kids reading reports when they grow up that their father reportedly touched Kelly Cheng’s boobs. Imagine also reading reports of their father’s Infidelity which shouldn’t be happening cause he’s MARRIED. Just this fact alone can make his children resent him.